Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
