Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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