Can i not drive my cunt home
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
