Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
