i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
