i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
