he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
