He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
