really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
