remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
