Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
