i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
