eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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