You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
