You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
