i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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