No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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