it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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