There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
