i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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