The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
