Ambien. No doubt about it.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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