that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
