is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
