I just saw a hot homeless man
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I enjoy the company of your penis
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