my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
