question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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