i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
