oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
