if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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