Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
