dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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