god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
