just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
