Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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