Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
