you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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