You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
