Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
