and my herpes radar will keep us safe
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
