fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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