Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She said her name was "party"
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
