she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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