How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
