Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
