I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
