She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
