i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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