I murdered the dance floor call the cops
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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