Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize